apparently the secret to your success is patron
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
