ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
