Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
