We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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