im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
