If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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