I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
