Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
