it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
