I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
