some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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