It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
