all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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