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Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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