how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
