I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
