i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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