As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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