I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
