So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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