You smell like stripper and shame
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
