I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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