if you like me you must not know who I am
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
