he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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