good thing vaginas are great cup holders
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
