Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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