dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
