You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i just had sex bonerless
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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