Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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