Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
