I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
