i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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