I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
