Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
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