Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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