I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
