Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
In other news, I just burned my penis
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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