HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
