there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
