Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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