just come out here and I will go home with you...
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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