I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
