Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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