I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
