I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Is it penis luge time yet?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
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