the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
