marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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