Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
