how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
