Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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