I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
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