also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We were destined to go to rehab together
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
