So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
