How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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