she was so not down for the gang bang
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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